Under Construction

Fair warning: this post was written late at night, and therefore may not make complete sense, but I needed to get these thoughts out before bed!

"Growth in humility is powered by the simple desire to become like Christ" -Fr. Michael Casey, OCSO

A couple of weeks ago, we had a day of recollection at the seminary. It's basically like a mini, in-house retreat. It was given by a priest who is a graduate of our seminary, and discussed the journey through Purgatory in the Divine Comedy. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was one theme: humility. For about a week after that, in the scriptures at Mass and in the homilies of the priests, the theme of humility kept coming up over and over again.

Why did it keep coming up? I think it was because I needed to explore what humility is a little bit more. That's because humility is something so hard to explain or understand for some people. When we think of humility, we often think of putting ourselves down--not being able to see any good in ourselves. But that's not really what humility is. In the past, the best I've heard it put comes from C.S. Lewis, who said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less". In other words, humility isn't putting yourself down, it's taking the time to take care of others and their needs, as well.

I talked to my spiritual director about this theme of humility. Knowing the influence Benedictine spirituality has had on me through my involvement at St. Meinrad over the summers, he recommended a book to me: A Gude to Living in the Truth: Saint Benedict's Teaching on Humility, by Fr. Michael Casey, a trappist monk in Austrailia (trappists also follow the Rule of Saint Benedict). The book, after waiting about two and a half weeks for it, finally came today, so I started reading it during Adoration.

Saint Benedict's chapter on humlity can often be misunderstood, and Fr. Michael's goal is to help us understand the meaning of it. The quote at the beginning of this post comes from one of the first few pages.

As Fr. Michael says, humility is the desire to become like Christ. Humility is working on becoming like Christ in all that I do, which really is what my seminary formation is all about: to work to become like Christ, to build and deepen a relationship with Him, so that I may lead others to an encounter with Him.

A few pages later, Fr. Michael quoted the Rule of Saint Benedict, saying "Don't be too zealous scraping off the rust, lest you put a hole in the vessel". When I read this, I instantly thought: I'm a work in progress. Yes, there's stuff I need to work on, and I have goals for those, but while working on them, I also need to remember that it takes time, and patience. I can't completely change overnight, and I don't think that I'm supposed to. If these changes--the growth I expereince--didn't take time, I would miss out on all the lessons that are taught in the process. Now, this is, at least in my opinion, in no way saying "be lazy and get to working on things eventually", but rather be mindful of who you are and where you are, and with the help of God and others, work on them. If you never scrape off the rust, the vessel will be weak and break, but if you do it too quickly, it will break anyways.

It's appropriate that this all came to me right before the Feast of St. Threse. Living in a former Carmelite Monastery, I have a great affinity for the Carmelite saints, especially Therese. In fact, I just realized that the bookmark I'm using for my book is a St. Therese holy card! God works in mysterious, yet wonderful ways, doesn't He?!

Anyhow, St. Therese is such a great model of humility. She knew what God created her for, and she worked tirelessly to become that person. She even went to the Holy Father to ask for help in entering the monastery. She recongized her own faults, and her own "littleness". She recognized that she was a work in progress, but was ever mindful of the need to stay humbler, saying "As long as you're humble, you will be happy", and "let us esteem ourselves as little souls whom God must sustain at each moment". In her humility, Therese deepend her relationship with and trust in God, and grew to become more like Christ day by day.

As one in seminary, I'm one under construction. I'm tearing down the barriers that block myself and others from Christ, and working on building bridges to help lead myself and others to Him. In that work, however, I must remain humble. I must, and I do, desire to become who God created me to be--to become like His Son. I must remember that to be humble isn't to tear myself down, but to recognize both my strenghts and gifts, as well as my weaknesses and faults.

Through the intercession of Saint Benedict and Saint Therese, may we seek humility and desire to become like Christ, and in all things, may God be glorified.

Amen.

#sttheresehumilityseminary